Unimportant Lessons

I guess these are pretty unimportant:

• "Never put pillows over your head, because then you can die"
• "Never trust a keyboard,well, simply because it is a keyboard, and it would be just downright stupid to let it handle any human tasks"
• "The significant difference between a drunk and a sober man is that the drunk man is under the heavy influence of alchoholic beaverages, whilst the sober man is not"
• "There is a contrast between light and dark"
• "A painting is not meant to be hung up on the roof, but rather on your wall"
• "Never sleep with your eyes open. It would be most painful"
• "Garbage is a naughty word"